Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
