He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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