its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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