I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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