garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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