Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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