Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?