I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.