I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
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Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday