Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.