Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
