haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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