In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
