TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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