flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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