You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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