If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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