hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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