Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I will pee on everything he values.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
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