now i know why i became what i already was.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
