dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
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she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
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Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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