I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
