What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
