are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The Olympian is in my bed
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
