theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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