Are we in a gay sports bar?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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