so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
