got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
