i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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