Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just sent this text using only my big toe
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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