Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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