Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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