there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
