I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
