Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
