apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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