dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
