just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
