I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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