He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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