TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
