just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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