Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
