If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
