I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just cropdusted the office
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize
