so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
