We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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