i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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