Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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