chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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