I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This baby is an asshole
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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