So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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