I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
