bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
