I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
