You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
