Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Operation Purity has been aborted
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
