Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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