Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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