u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
