Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.