Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?