i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor