Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...

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(407): Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you... http://tfl.nu/kmbk

Replies (1) Good night (1871) Bad night (656)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?

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(301): Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands? http://tfl.nu/6ufe

Replies (34) Good night (2429) Bad night (3196)
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(847): View more from Illinois

another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?

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(847): another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/u1gt

Replies (29) Good night (1227) Bad night (4698)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.

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(270): Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first. http://tfl.nu/qnn2

Replies (11) Good night (1414) Bad night (5693)
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(804): View more from Virginia

she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.

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(804): she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener. http://tfl.nu/h6je

Replies (12) Good night (2259) Bad night (2848)
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(765): View more from Indiana

I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.

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(765): I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me. http://tfl.nu/y0cn

Replies (4) Good night (3228) Bad night (756)
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(925): View more from California

Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.

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(925): Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs. http://tfl.nu/ssx7

Replies (13) Good night (1927) Bad night (700)
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(989): View more from Michigan

Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with

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(989): Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with http://tfl.nu/ctqs

Replies (11) Good night (1568) Bad night (804)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.

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(540): Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day. http://tfl.nu/y889

Replies (7) Good night (923) Bad night (1830)
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(719): View more from Colorado

He's a Shit stain on my heart

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(719): He's a Shit stain on my heart http://tfl.nu/9sgb

Replies (11) Good night (800) Bad night (1455)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.

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(304): I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home. http://tfl.nu/3pgq

Replies (31) Good night (674) Bad night (2449)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat

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(814): If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat http://tfl.nu/6lrq

Replies (5) Good night (1025) Bad night (390)
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(404): View more from Georgia

As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.

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(404): As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection. http://tfl.nu/m3hm

Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (307)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.

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(781): I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today. http://tfl.nu/uj8g

Replies (2) Good night (198) Bad night (289)
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(727): View more from Florida

I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.

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(727): I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this. http://tfl.nu/yk4h

Replies (2) Good night (346) Bad night (308)

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