Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'