Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.

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  (817): Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house. (405): Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box. (817): I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift. http://tfl.nu/erp5
  Replies (103) Good night (1407) Bad night (2891)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.

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  (608): No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat. http://tfl.nu/i15q
  Replies (14) Good night (3435) Bad night (777)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.

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  (386): No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable. http://tfl.nu/h3dd
  Replies (13) Good night (619) Bad night (2002)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.

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  (727): She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek. http://tfl.nu/rrn9
  Replies (117) Good night (3220) Bad night (12004)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.

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  (775): they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it. http://tfl.nu/g3nc
  Replies (19) Good night (5955) Bad night (874)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK

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  (517): she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK http://tfl.nu/ybgq
  Replies (65) Good night (946) Bad night (8914)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"

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  (862): he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!" http://tfl.nu/rt63
  Replies (15) Good night (5264) Bad night (1516)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.

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  (336): They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays. http://tfl.nu/wrv2
  Replies (13) Good night (7805) Bad night (1222)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.

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  (360): It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice. http://tfl.nu/ciw3
  Replies (5) Good night (2261) Bad night (717)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.

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  (816): It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain. http://tfl.nu/o28o
  Replies (1) Good night (1354) Bad night (583)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...

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  (404): He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight... http://tfl.nu/5hx6
  Replies (33) Good night (1324) Bad night (5146)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed

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  (843): I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed http://tfl.nu/od18
  Replies (9) Good night (653) Bad night (2209)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated

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  (973): You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated http://tfl.nu/yaej
  Replies (6) Good night (1143) Bad night (435)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...

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  (270): What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me... http://tfl.nu/bzfn
  Replies (4) Good night (726) Bad night (388)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.

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  (519): Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice. http://tfl.nu/3hl9
  Replies (11) Good night (676) Bad night (251)

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