U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
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Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
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Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.