Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
