I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
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Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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